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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24633295">Possibilities</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/simonsaysyes/pseuds/simonsaysyes'>simonsaysyes</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Angst, Drarry, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Research, Self Loathing, Time Travel, temporary major character death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:06:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>17,825</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24633295</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/simonsaysyes/pseuds/simonsaysyes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After Harry Potter's funeral, a distraught Draco Malfoy drinks himself into oblivion. He wakes up in Grimmauld Place and sees Harry Potter very much alive.</p>
<p>How did he end up there? How does he get back to his time? Is there any way he can save the man he secretly loves?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>90</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a cold, rainy day. No hope of sun coming from the clouds. It was fitting somehow, like the world knew what it had transpired. Like mother nature openly cried for the loss felt by so many witches and wizards. </p>
<p>The Boy Who Lived, lived no more.</p>
<p>Close friends and family gathered in the graveyard of Godrick’s Hollow. Most had their wands up utilizing the umbrella spell. Draco wasn’t sure how he ended up invited to the very private funeral but here he was, not using anything to shield himself from the rain. He couldn’t feel it anyways. </p>
<p>The boy who saved everyone wasn’t able to save himself. Or maybe it was that others weren’t able to save him. Draco didn’t really have the heart to find someone to put the blame on for this. Everything around him felt dazed. Everything inside him felt numb. </p>
<p>If he thought about it, he would have guessed that he had been invited to the private saying of good bye because, over the years, he had become friends with the people currently surrounding him. He had even been invited to some of the Weasley’s Sunday dinners…mainly because Mrs. Weasley once found out that he eats alone at home 98% of his nights and this just hadn’t been acceptable. So yeah, Draco had entered the group of friends that surrounded Harry Potter. </p>
<p>Alongside Harry himself and Ronald Weasley, Draco had become an auror in his adult life. It came as a surprised to no one when Harry and Ron became partners. Draco had gone through a few unsatisfactory partners himself before being paired with a witch named Cindy-Lou whose joyous nature drove him up the wall most days but damn if she was not excellent at her job so he never put in for a partner transfer.</p>
<p>He had come to appreciate his life after Hogwarts. His father had been, thankfully, sent to Azkaban freeing Draco and his mom from his grasp. His mom had never really been the same after the war. She was more like a shell of what she used to be, never quite able to find happiness. Draco stayed isolated with her in the manor until she passed only a short three years after the war. The healers had said it had been something wrong with her heart. Draco wasted no time selling the manor after that. The memories it held of what had transpired there during the war needed to be left behind. </p>
<p>He moved in to a one bedroom flat and continued on with his life. He slowly became more open to people’s invitations to join them for lunch or an after-work pint. He found that people could actually be kind. He started opening up, making amends. One day Luna asked him if he wanted to join them at the pub on Friday. Them involving the golden trio. Draco hesitantly accepted, a little worried of how the three would act towards him but he was pleasantly surprised when they had smiled and welcomed him to their table when he did show up. </p>
<p>Now standing in the rain surrounding by quiet and not so quiet sobs he wondered if it had all been for nothing. If he had missed his chance. If he had been too much of a coward to go for what he had really wanted…if it would have made any difference if he had.</p>
<p>You see the thing is, Draco had always rather been fond of Harry Potter. Muggle psychologist would surely inform him that his ill-natured relationship towards Harry at Hogwarts was a clear way of fighting his feelings for a boy who wasn’t returning them. All the horrible things he did to him was only to make sure he was hated back and never had to actually confront how he actually felt. That, paired with the fact that his father made sure Draco was on the opposite side during the war, just put them at odds end. </p>
<p>That’s until they were in the thick of things. Until he was asked to identify him. An act he couldn’t do knowing it would lead to the boy’s death. Throwing Harry his wand during the battle was just the right thing to do. Fuck the fear of dying.  </p>
<p>After the war things had been awkward as expected but the animosity seemed to have dissolved itself. They had been through too much pain to hold on to petty school rivalries.  </p>
<p>“Draco?”, the soft voice pulled him from his thoughts. He looked up from the headstone to see a puffy eyed Ginny looking at him. “Draco, we’re going back to the Burrow for tea. We have the portkeys waiting.”</p>
<p>Draco nodded and followed her to where a small group was huddled around an old lamp.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-_-_-_-_-</p>
<p>Draco was once again pulled from his thoughts. This time by a cup of tea flying into a wall and smashing into pieces. He sluggishly inspected the seen and found that Ron had thrown it. </p>
<p>“Shut up! Just shut up!”, the red head was yelling. “Everyone needs to stop telling me it wasn’t my fault! I don’t want to hear it! He was my best mate! I was his partner! IT WAS MY JOB TO PROCTECT HIM!” Ron’s voice cracked as a sob took hold of him. He grabbed a hold of his hair and shut his eyes tight before reopening them and running out of the room.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry everyone,” Hermione choked. “I’ll go see him.”</p>
<p>Draco almost wished he could express that kind of emotion. He looked down at his tea and felt the sofa dip beside him. </p>
<p>“Hey mate,” Longbottom greeted him, “How are you holding up?”</p>
<p>“Fine.”</p>
<p>“It’s ok to want to talk about it you know. Especially with the way you and Harry…you know…how things were with you two.”</p>
<p>“How things were?” Oh and there it was. An emotion. “What do you mean how things were? There were no things.” Anger. Yes. Good. Anger was a good emotion. Draco was familiar with anger. This he could handle. </p>
<p>Before Neville could express any other kind of platitude Draco got up. He looked at Molly and considered saying good bye but couldn’t muster it…again failing to find courage.</p>
<p>He used the floo to get home. Once inside his dingy flat he went straight for the Firewhiskey and took a sip from the bottle, bypassing using a glass. He fell to the ground and cried openly. Why couldn’t he have just found the courage to tell Harry how he felt when he still had the chance. Even if it was just to know if there was any chance Harry felt the same way.</p>
<p>He took another swig of the Firewhiskey. And another. He got up and stumbled to the couch. He drank at an alarming speed, enjoying the way the alcohol was fuzzing his mind. “Harry…”, he cried to the empty room.</p>
<p>Eventually Draco checked the time. Almost 2am. He didn’t want to go to bed, scared of what his dreams would bring. He wanted to be with Harry. Needed to feel close to him. He got up and walked over to floo and drunkenly called out GRIMMAULD PLACE. </p>
<p>The motion felt wrong. Too tight. The colour of the flames seemed off. It felt like his skin was being pricked all over. </p>
<p>When his feet hit the ground, he took a minute to will his head to stop spinning. He saw there was a light on. He had expected the flat to be empty now that its sole resident had passed. Maybe someone else had the same idea of coming over. </p>
<p>He stepped out into the room, almost empty bottle of alcohol still in his hand.</p>
<p>“Malfoy?” the familiar voice slapped him in the face. This wasn’t right. Draco blinked a few times then rubbed his eyes. He couldn’t be seeing this right. </p>
<p>“Malfoy what are you doing here? Are you drunk?</p>
<p>There, in front of him, looking very much alive stood none other than Harry Potter. </p>
<p>Draco Malfoy promptly passed out.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Draco woke up in a bed that was not his own and with a headache that threatened to split his skull. He looked around for a place to throw up into and saw a little vial containing a glimmering liquid on the nightstand. It was accompanied by a note that said “Drink me!” </p>
<p>Considering the possibility that he was already dead and nothing worse could happen to him, he followed the notes orders and consumed the vial’s content.</p>
<p>He instantly felt better. Thank Salazar for hang over potions.</p>
<p>He sat up and collected himself, trying to put together his memories of the night before.</p>
<p>With a punch to the heart he remembered attending Harry Potter’s funeral.</p>
<p>He remembered going home and getting proper smashed.</p>
<p>He also remembered using the floo to go to Grimmauld place and seeing none other than…</p>
<p>“You’re up!” Harry stood at the door of the room.</p>
<p>Draco blinked.</p>
<p>“Oh no, you better not pass out on me again.” Harry smiled.</p>
<p>“Where am I?” Draco dared ask.</p>
<p>“Um…my place. You drunkenly showed up last night.” Harry kept smiling as if this was amazingly and simply amusing to him. </p>
<p>“Harry?”</p>
<p>“Malfoy?”</p>
<p>“This isn’t possible.” Tears started to tease the corners of Draco’s eyes.</p>
<p>Harry’s smile faded. “Ok now I’m getting worried. Should we be bringing you to St Mungo’s?”</p>
<p>“Maybe…” Draco whispered.</p>
<p>Harry walked into the room and sat beside Draco on the bed. “Can you tell me what you think is going on? Did someone maybe lace your drink with a potion last night?”</p>
<p>“You died.” A tear escaped.</p>
<p>“What? Ok Malfoy this isn’t funny anymore.”</p>
<p>“No one laced my drink because I was alone in my flat, after your funeral.”</p>
<p>“Ok St. Mungo’s it is.” Harry got up.</p>
<p>“NO!” Whatever this was, Harry was alive. Draco was worried about doing anything that might change that. Maybe he had hit his head and the healers would fix him and Harry would be gone again. Living with a hallucination of Harry was better than no Harry at all.</p>
<p>“Well we gotta do something!”</p>
<p>Draco’s tummy grumbled.</p>
<p>“Ok, how bout I make us some breakfast and you tell me everything you think is going on.”</p>
<p>This seemed like a safe plan. “Can I freshen up first? I feel disgusting.”</p>
<p>“You smell disgusting. Shower’s through there. I’ll have breakfast ready.” Harry turned to leave the room but Draco grabbed his hand. Harry turned around. Draco looked up at him with wide eyes scared to watch the man walk away. “It’ll be ok. I’m not dead,” Harry promised and with a squeeze of Draco’s hand he disconnected them and left the room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-_-_-_-_-_-</p>
<p>Draco took a very quick shower and with the flick of his wand he removed the stench from his clothes.</p>
<p>He was torn between running down the stairs and creeping down slowly, not sure which action would ensure his hallucination didn’t disappear. </p>
<p>The smell coming from the kitchen definitely didn’t feel like a hallucination. 	</p>
<p>“Egg and cheese on a croissant,” Harry exclaimed when Draco joined him in the kitchen. “Do you want tomatoes on yours?”</p>
<p>Draco nodded yes in response. The kettle started whistling and two cups of tea were poured.</p>
<p>“Ok Malfoy, talk.”</p>
<p>“You died.”</p>
<p>“I can assure you, I did not.”</p>
<p>“You did. I was there.  Weasley was there. Cindy-Lou was there. We were on a joint case.”</p>
<p>“Who’s Cindy-Lou?” Harry asked, taking a bite out of his sandwich.</p>
<p>“Who’s-? My partner at the office.”</p>
<p>“No, you’re partner is Tolkster.”</p>
<p>Draco’s mouth fell open. “Potter, the bumbling idiot Tolkster was briefly my partner 6 years ago.”</p>
<p>Harry swallowed his current bite. </p>
<p>Realization dawned on both men at the same time.</p>
<p>“You’re from the future?”</p>
<p>“You’re from the past?”</p>
<p>They just kind of stared at each other for probably too long a moment.</p>
<p>Harry got up and left the room. He returned with a copy of the day’s Daily Prophet. August 5th 2001.</p>
<p>“I’m in the past,” Draco spoke to himself. “Six years in the past. This isn’t possible.” He looked up at Harry. “</p>
<p>“Ok,” Harry started, “What kind of time turner goes back that far? And how did you even get one? Those are extremely illegal and barely in existence anymore.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t use a time turner.” Draco held his hand out in a motion to tell Harry to stay quiet. “Yes, I know, there is no known way of time travelling without a time turner. I’m not a first year you know. We need to go to the Ministry, maybe talk to someone in the Department of Magical Anomalies…or even that boring research department.”</p>
<p>“You can’t leave this house!” Harry declared.</p>
<p>“I bloody well can do as I please, thank you very much.”</p>
<p>“Malfoy, you can’t leave this house because we can’t have you cross your younger self.”</p>
<p>Draco set his head on the table with a resounding thud.</p>
<p>“I’ll go to work. I’m extremely late anyways. You stay here, make yourself at home.”</p>
<p>“Go to work? Are you daft? I just told you that you died and that I’m from the future and you’re going to just go off to work!”</p>
<p>“Malfoy I can’t do anything from here. At work I have access to books and can do some research on time travelling. I’ll be back with take-away for dinner and any information I can find.”</p>
<p>Draco didn’t say anything. Harry got up, set the dishes to wash themselves and set about to head to work.</p>
<p>Many, many thoughts were running through Draco’s head. How did this happen? Why did this happen? What did this mean? Could he change the future? Could he save the man he loved? </p>
<p>He squashed down that last thought, no willing to entertain false hope. Death seemed like a rather finite point in a person’s life. He probably shouldn’t even have said anything to Potter about it. Or maybe he should say more? Give the man a warning to change the future. A non-alcohol induced headache took over. He felt exhausted in every way possible and since he couldn’t do much until Harry came back he opted to go back to bed. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>-_-_-_-_-</p>
<p>Harry returned home after work holding Indian take-away in one hand and a leather book back hooked around his other arm.</p>
<p>“Malfoy?” he called as he entered Grimmauld place.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’m here.” A rough looking Malfoy walked into the room.</p>
<p>“Got us some food and I borrowed a few books on time travel from the archives.” Harry handed the book bag to Malfoy and made his way to the kitchen to get some plates. Draco followed and settled himself at the table.</p>
<p>He opened the book bag that looked like it could contain two, three books max. Of course, this was no ordinary bag. He took out seven rather large books from it. Thank Merlin for magic!</p>
<p>Turning them to look at their spine, he took in the titles. Some were specifically about time travelling, some were about magical items such as time turners. One was specifically called Theories of poppycock magic. This last title, Draco read out loud.</p>
<p>“It has a chapter on itemless time travel,” Harry explained as he put a plate down in front of Draco. </p>
<p>“Have you read any of these yet?” Draco asked as he helped himself to some butter chicken.</p>
<p>“Didn’t have the time, sorry. Got called on a nasty case. There’s something causing blackouts in East Lothian, up in Scotland. Would be a muggle problem if it wasn’t for the fact that everyone seems to be stupefied during the black out and not everyone is waking up from it. Now we have a bunch of wizards in comas. You wouldn’t happen to remember anything about it from your past would you?”</p>
<p>“I’m not your partner Potter,” Draco spat. “Your problems are not my problems so why would I pay attention to them?” Typical. He just lost the man and was full of regrets about the way he had always acted towards him and now that he actually had a chance to see him again he went straight back to being a jerk. Yup. Typical. Draco buried his head in his hands. When the other wizard didn’t have any snarky reply he lifted his head back up to look at him. He had grabbed one of the books and had it open at its index. Draco moved his butter chicken around in his plate.</p>
<p>Draco grabbed one of the books. Time Turner travel stories of Agnes Wonkerbat. He hated research. He utilised that particular department of the Ministry way too often to get out of doing it himself.</p>
<p>“So…” after an hour of eating and reading in silence Harry spoke up. “I die?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>“How?”</p>
<p>“Look Potter, I’m not sure I should tell you anything. Not until we can figure out the rules of time travel and how it can affect the time line.” This was unfortunately very logical. Draco pointed his wand at the books on the table. “Rules of time travel.” </p>
<p>Anthology of meticulous magic. Tome 7. opened up to a specific page.</p>
<p>“Why tome 7 exactly?”</p>
<p>“It’s from the restricted section. You can only take out a book at a time and tome 7 has the T section so I figured it was a good bet.”</p>
<p>“Leave it to you to pick a book on a hunch.”</p>
<p>“Well it worked didn’t it!”</p>
<p>Draco grabbed the book and looked at the page it had opened itself up to. “Particularities of time travel. Do’s and Don’ts,” he read out. “Well that seems specifically important to my situation.”</p>
<p>“Our situation,” Harry corrected.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“Well I get that you’re stuck here and would like to go back to your time but I would also like to not die if that’s possible.”</p>
<p>Draco pursed his lips remembering that, yes, Harry Potter was dead. He had watched as his body had been thrown across the room and hit a cement wall with a particular crunch. He shook his head to clear his thoughts from the memory. He returned his attention to the book and read. The chapter was actually, and thankfully, quite detailed. Stating the rules and explaining why exactly one should abide by them. </p>
<p>“Well, this sucks,” Draco finally declared.</p>
<p>“What does it say?”</p>
<p>“Apparently any major changes to the time line can affect me specifically. Once I go back to my time, any changes will cause newly formed memories to my existing ones and there’s a high possibility that I’ll go mad.”</p>
<p>“Lovely.”</p>
<p>“A few things can cause time alterations. I should avoid talking to anyone I know. I should not tell anyone what happens in the future. Altering the life of creatures is fairly safe for some boring reason.”</p>
<p>Harry remembered Buckbeak.</p>
<p>“Altering the death of a human is strictly forbidden,” Draco continued. He put the book down and rubbed his temples.</p>
<p>“Ok,” Harry said sounding resolute. “So, we focus on how to get you back.”</p>
<p>Draco starred at the man in front of him. “You’re just going to be ok with dying?”</p>
<p>“Well, it’s not like we can do anything and thinking about it might drive ME mad,” Harry all but yelled. </p>
<p>“How Gryffindor of you to be brave in the face of your own death.”</p>
<p>Harry sighed remembering how he had once died already. Maybe this was his punishment for cheating death once before.</p>
<p>“Fine, let’s just figure out how to get me back so you’re not forced to spend any more time than you have to with me.” Draco got up.</p>
<p>“Malfoy –” Harry started but Draco cut him off, not really caring what he was going to say. </p>
<p>“It’s late. I’m going to bed. I’m assuming I’m allowed to sleep in the room I woke up in?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>Draco didn’t say anything else. Leaving the books on the table, he dragged himself out of the room and up the stairs. </p>
<p>Once in what he figured was a guess room, he looked at the bed and then down at himself. Not having exactly planned out this lovely trip in time he hadn’t brought any spare clothes. How long would he have to spend in his funeral outfit? It would become a constant reminder of the day he left behind. He undressed, avoiding to look at his arm where the dark mark was. He very rarely stayed the night at other people’s places in order to have it not be seen. On those rare occasion that he did, he wore a long-sleeved shirt to bed, however warm and uncomfortable it was. </p>
<p>Having nothing to wear to bed at this particular moment, he locked the door hoping that if Harry, for any reason, tried to open it he would get the hint to knock first and give Draco time to cover himself up. They really needed to figure this out soon.</p>
<p>Once again exhausted, Draco fell into a restless sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Draco didn’t really know what time it was when he woke up the next day. Nor did he really care. </p><p>He threw on his one outfit and went to the bathroom. He found a tube of toothpaste and used his finger to brush his teeth. </p><p>When he went down to the living room, no one was in sight. He found his way to the kitchen where a note was sitting on the table.</p><p>Went to work. Can’t really let people fall into comas just because you found your way trapped into the past. Help yourself to anything in the fridge. Don’t go outside.</p><p>Draco scrunched the note in his hand. Leave it to Potter to be sassy in a note. </p><p>He put the kettle on, not hungry for any breakfast but up for a cuppa. Once it was ready, he settled himself at the table and grabbed a book. Not really interested in Agnes Wonkerbats’ life stories he grabbed  Theories of poppycock magic. He looked at the index and found the chapter on itemless time travel. </p><p>If you’re reading this, you must be bored for this theory is more that pure poppycock.</p><p>Great first sentence. How lucky was Draco to find an author with attitude.</p><p>Outside of Time-Turners, there are records of muggles also trying to time travel using lavish machines and what they call technology. It would appear that someone named H. G. Wells wrote an extensive account of a time traveller using one of these machines. Upon further research, I have found that muggles do not seem to take this account as real and it is an absolute waste of time to look further into it. Clearly if wizards who naturally have a superior intellect to muggles can’t figure out more than one way to time travel, muggles aren’t going to do it.<br/>Now, when it comes to itemless time travel, countless wizards have tried only to stand there looking foolish as nothing happens.</p><p>This continued on about how only idiots think they can do it. Bla, bla, bla. Draco took a breath before continuing his reading. Eventually an interesting name was mentioned. Mary-Winkle Desgrace. The author explained how he found an old parchment from 1879 that talked about this Desgrace character. She claimed to have time travelled one night, filled with grief over the death of her mother. Upon her supposed return, Desgrace told her family what she had done. Her erratic ramblings, accompanied with the fact that her mother had not actually died, had Mary-Winkle locked up and never heard from again.</p><p>Interesting. Draco needed to find this parchment…which he had no idea how he could possibly do. He looked at the front of the book and decided that it might be worth looking further into this specific author…as judgemental as he was in his writings. Maybe by investigating the research this author had used, Draco could find the parchment. </p><p>He put the book down and abandoned his now cold cup of tea in search of something to right on, thinking it be a good idea to make notes of what he had found.</p><p>He made his way to what must be Harry’s office. Nauseatingly decorated in red and gold. </p><p>“Draco?” He heard his name called out.</p><p>He found Harry in the hallway.</p><p>“Back so soon? Couldn’t figure out your case and passed it on to a better auror?” Why did he keep being so mean?</p><p>“Unlike you, I actually close my cases instead of passing the buck.”</p><p>“Then why are you back?”</p><p>“Figured out what was happening and actually fixed things. Ended up being quite simple.”</p><p>“Yeah, I don’t care.” </p><p>Harry actually looked a bit hurt by that but didn’t voice anything. Instead he asked Draco if he had found anything in the books. Draco told him about Mary-Winkle.</p><p>“But you said her mom wasn’t actually dead,” Harry pointed out.</p><p>“How daft are you? Isn’t it obvious that her mother may have actually died and this witch may have actually gone back in time and saved her? Causing her to go mad with the memory of her mom dying conflicting with the new memory of her mom being saved?” </p><p>“Do you think it’s safe to ask for Hermione’s help? She’s always been the strong one when it comes to research.”</p><p>“Potter, one of the do’s and don’ts was to not let anyone know you’re from the future. This clearly went out the window when it comes to you but perhaps we should keep it between us. I rather return to my time with my sanity intact.”</p><p>“I’m trying to help Malfoy, why do you have to be such a prat all the time!”</p><p>“Do you think I enjoy being stuck here with you? This is the longest time we’ve spent around each other alone.”</p><p>“I died! You’d think you’d be nicer to me.”</p><p>“What do you expect me to do? Tell you my real feelings? Freak you out and have you act differently towards the current me, causing my memories to change and have me go insane?”</p><p>“What do you mean real feelings?”</p><p>“It’s not important. Like you said you died and I rather not go back with confirmation that the saviour of the wizarding world could have never liked me. Hurts my head to just think about it.” Faced with the option, Draco decided it was best to go back still not knowing what would have happened if he had been brave enough to ask Harry out. Not knowing was better than having your heart crushed.</p><p>“What do you mean real feelings?” Harry repeated. “And I like you. We’re friends.”</p><p>“Yeah. Friends. Just leave it will you.”</p><p>Harry looked at the man standing before him. “Draco -”</p><p>“Don’t. Just don’t.”</p><p>“Will you stop cutting me off like that! Apparently, I die in six years and apparently, I die not knowing whatever you mean by what your real feelings are towards me. That means I go six years thinking that you only tolerate me. What if I promise to continue acting like you only tolerate me with the present you…well past you…the you in my present.”</p><p>Draco blinked. He definitely had a headache which was making it hard to understand what Harry was rambling about. </p><p>“Draco, do you want to go for a pint?” </p><p>“I can’t go outside, remember?”</p><p>“Right…well I need a drink.” Harry walked away and Draco followed.</p><p>They went into the den where Harry’s liquor cabinet was. Harry took off his auror robes and threw them on the sofa. </p><p>“Maybe getting drunk again will get me to time travel back?”</p><p>Harry shrugged and grabbed the bottle of Firewhiskey. He took two glasses and made his way to one of the lounge chairs. Draco took a seat in the opposite one as Harry poured the liquor. </p><p>Harry took a couple of sips in a row. “Maybe we should obliviate me,” he proposed. “I don’t really like knowing that I’m going to die.”</p><p>“Yeah that’s an idea.”</p><p>They finished their first glass in silence and a second one was poured.</p><p>“You going to tell about these real feelings?” Harry asked.</p><p>“You know I’ve always hated your bravery,” Draco said while looking at the amber liquid in his glass.</p><p>Harry gave him a look.</p><p>“By hated…I mean…I’ve always been jealous of it. Things seem to come so easy for you.”</p><p>“You’re pretty brave too, Draco. I’ve seen you go into dangerous situations with no hesitation.”</p><p>“That’s different. Someone’s life is usually at stake and I’d be a pretty bad auror if I didn’t act to save them.” He took a sip. “You’re brave in many ways that I can’t be. Especially when it comes to your relationships with people. You’re not afraid to express yourself and trust that you can handle being hurt.”</p><p>“Not true.” A third glass was poured. “I avoided telling you how I felt about you by fear of rejection. Seemingly, I avoid it for the rest of my life.”</p><p>“See! There you go being brave.”</p><p>“Not really. We’re going to obliviate me remember so what do I have to lose from telling you that you’re the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about at night. What do I have to lose now by telling you that I wish you would look at me differently? Since sixth year.”</p><p>“Sixth year???” Draco’s was sincerely shocked. “Tell me how can the golden boy of the wizarding world  be interested in a death eater?”</p><p>“You’re not a death eater Draco, you never really were. You were a kid. Circumstances forced you into a side you didn’t belong to. You never really did anything evil. You didn’t kill Dumbledore when you were asked to.”</p><p>“I let the death eaters into Hogwarts. My actions caused his death.”</p><p>“You can’t blame yourself for his death.”</p><p>“I do.” Draco finished his glass and a fourth was poured. It loosened his tongue. “I’m not good enough for you, Harry.”</p><p>“Don’t I get to decide that?” Harry’s eyes darted to Draco’s lips and back to his grey eyes. </p><p>Draco put down his glass on the small table between them. “What are we doing?”</p><p>“Drunkenly admitting to each other that we’ve been idiots?” Harry put his glass down as well. “Come here…please.”</p><p>Draco breathed in. “There you go being brave again.” This didn’t stop him from getting up anyways. He stood in front of Harry and licked his lips. This was probably a bad idea. </p><p>Harry reached out and placed his hands on Draco’s waste. He pulled him close so that the blonde was now sitting in his lap. Draco put his hands on Harry’s chest and felt his heart pounding. Fuck it. He brought a hand up behind Harry’s head and closed the distance between them. Lips meeting each other and instantly opening to deepen their connection. It was everything Draco had always wanted and not enough at the same time. </p><p>They pulled away for air and Draco suggested they move things to the bedroom.</p><p>“Are you sure?” Harry asked. “What if…what if this affects you in the future? This is a pretty big deal.”</p><p>“This is my only chance to be with you. I’m sure.”</p><p>Draco got up and headed for the door. Harry followed suit but stopped Draco in the hallway to kiss him again. Their trek to the bedroom took longer then necessary as one kept stopping the other to kiss some more. </p><p>Draco made love to Harry knowing that, once he found a way back, he would never see him again. It was intense and filled with unspoken emotion.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TRIGGER WARNING - mention of past self-harm</p>
<p>Apart from that, this chapter is a bit of fluffy crack...the depressing plot will resume shortly</p>
<p>Thanks to everyone leaving comments and kudos ^_^</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Draco woke up the next morning with a naked Harry tangled around him. He looked at the sleeping figure, not wanting to wake him. His now alcohol-free thoughts realized that he would have to leave with the knowledge of what the man he loved tasted like. He now knew how his skin felt beneath his fingers, how the curves of his body fit with his. How they had wasted years not admitting their mutual feelings out of stupid fear. Draco bit his lip and closed his eyes trying to will himself not to cry. He deeply wished things were different. Deeply wished time travelling didn’t have so many rules. Maybe he could stay here. Hide away from everyone and never go back but still have Harry…at least for six years. </p>
<p>Harry shifted in Draco’s arms. Draco looked down to find him awake. </p>
<p>“Do you regret it?” Harry asked.</p>
<p>“No.” </p>
<p>Harry’s eyes shifted to Draco’s naked arm.</p>
<p>Shit. He had completely forgotten about his mark. He tried to hide it under the blanket.</p>
<p>“Wait,” Harry gently placed his hand on Draco’s wrist. “You don’t have to hide from me.”</p>
<p>Was Harry purposely trying to make Draco cry?</p>
<p>Harry brushed his fingers over the raised, mutilated skin sitting on top of the mark.</p>
<p>“What happened?”</p>
<p>“I tried to burn it off,” Draco said with no emotion.</p>
<p>“Draco!”</p>
<p>“There’s no magical way to get rid of it…thought maybe by force I could remove it…didn’t work.”</p>
<p>Harry brought his hand to cup Draco’s cheek. The taller man closed his eyes. </p>
<p>“I wish I could go to the you of my now. I don’t like knowing you spend six more years hating yourself, thinking you’re not good enough and that you have to hide.”</p>
<p>“Yeah well we don’t always get what we want. And don’t worry, you won’t remember.”</p>
<p>Right. Harry had forgotten about that decision of theirs to erase his memory of Draco’s visit. Well this sucked. </p>
<p>“Don’t you have to go to work?” Draco wanted to change the subject.</p>
<p>“I’ll send a note to Robards telling him I’m sick. I’m not leaving you.”</p>
<p>Draco nuzzled his head in the crook of Harry’s neck. “Can I just stay here forever?” </p>
<p>Harry wrapped his arms around him and held tight.</p>
<p>“Can we skip research today and just learn about each other’s deep dark secrets?” Draco asked.</p>
<p>“That actually sounds really great. I need to go to the loo first. I’ll then go get us some tea and come back to bed. We’ll stay here as long as possible until we absolutely need food.”</p>
<p>“Harry Potter. A cuddle bug!”</p>
<p>“Deep dark secret number one.” Harry laughed as he got up. <br/>Draco rolled around under the blankets feeling comfortable and content. He told himself he would not dwell on the future today and would simply enjoy his time with Harry. </p>
<p>The man in question eventually came back with two cups of tea. Draco took a few sips and handed it to Harry to place on the nightstand until it was wanted again. Harry crawled back in and placed his head on Draco’s chest.</p>
<p>“Alright, what topics are off limit?” Draco asked.</p>
<p>“None. I’ve always wanted to get to know you better and it looks like this is my only chance to do just that.”</p>
<p>Draco sighed. “I know exactly how you feel.” Not wanting to wallow he pushed on. “Alright then, you asked for it. What was your first sexual experience?”</p>
<p>Harry shot up in shock. “What?!”</p>
<p>“Well you said no topic was off limits!”</p>
<p>“I thought we would start with like what’s your favourite colour first.”</p>
<p>“Green but that one’s obvious.”</p>
<p>“Stereotypical.”</p>
<p>“Says the man whose office is decorated in Gryffindor colours! Now stop avoiding the question.”</p>
<p>“Fine. With a man or a woman?” Harry asked a little shyly. </p>
<p>“Both.”</p>
<p>“Lee Jordan was first.”</p>
<p>“WHAT.”</p>
<p>“I know, random right? It was after a match, he came by the locker rooms to congratulate me on my skills and things just…happened.”</p>
<p>“Did you go all the way?” Draco was definitely interested.</p>
<p>“No. Just sucked each other off. Honestly, I never went all the way with a guy when we were in school. I was too busy trying not to die every year.”</p>
<p>“Hm. And with a girl? Let me guess, Ginny?”</p>
<p>Harry chuckled. “Yeah, you guessed it. Alright your turn, who was your first?”</p>
<p>“Are you going to just repeat my questions to me the entire day? You should be a bit more original but ok. Theodore Nott.” Draco didn’t wait for Harry to comment before asking his next question. “Who was your first crush?”</p>
<p>Harry snorted. “How do you go from first shag to first crush? I feel like we’re regressing.”</p>
<p>“Are you going to comment on all my questions?”</p>
<p>“Ok, ok. Oliver Wood.”</p>
<p>Draco couldn’t stop laughing.</p>
<p>“Oh lay off it. He was gorgeous and obsessed with Quidditch. Of course I was going to like him! Your turn. Let’s see…what could I ask…I can ask anything?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“Are you only interested in guys?”</p>
<p>“Yup. First ever kiss was with Pansy and that just solidified it for me. Homosexual through and through.”</p>
<p>“Do you mind that I’m bi?” Harry hesitated to ask.</p>
<p>Draco perked himself up on an elbow. “No. Honestly no. I know there’s a lot of biphobics out there who spew bullshit about the person not being able to choose and always going to want the opposite sex but I don’t believe in that. You love who you want to love and if you choose to love me then I trust that you’re not going to ditch me for a chick. Plus, I’ll keep you so satisfied in bed you’re not going to want or need anyone else.” Draco wiggle his eyebrows making Harry laughed. Draco loved that sound and enjoyed being the reason behind it. He settled back down and snuggled back up. </p>
<p>“Do you want kids?” Draco asked.</p>
<p>“I do, yes.”</p>
<p>“Let me guess, if it’s a boy you want to name him after Dumbledore or something.”</p>
<p>“Shut up Malfoy.”</p>
<p>“I’m so right aren’t I!” It was Draco’s turn to laugh. He reached over Harry and grabbed his cup for a sip of tea. </p>
<p>“Do you want kids?” Harry repeated the question.</p>
<p>“Yes. Luckily we now live in a word where it’s ok for same-sex couples to have children. We would have to adopt or use a surrogate though but that’s not a big deal.”</p>
<p>Harry raised an eyebrow. “We?” He laughed.</p>
<p>“Oh shut up. Also that doesn’t count as a question, you just repeated mine so it’s still your turn.”</p>
<p>“Do you regret anything from your days at Hogwarts?” Harry asked. “Nothing like war related, just something small.”</p>
<p>Draco bit his lip. “Yeah. I regret calling Hermione a mudblood. I also regret the way I introduced myself to you in first year. Spouting ideas on social hierarchy and demeaning Weasley. No wonder you didn’t accept my offer of friendship.”</p>
<p>“Pretty sure you were too young to even understand the fanatic bullshit on eugenics your father was instilling in you.”</p>
<p>Draco shrugged. “What part of my looks are you more attracted to?” he asked wanting to put back some levity in the moment.</p>
<p>“Fishing for compliments are ya! This is going to sound like such a cop out but I don’t know if I could pin point it to just one thing…you’re beautiful. Gotta say though I am pleasantly surprised to see those abs you’ve been hiding.” Harry winked. Draco blushed slightly…he worked out hard for those abs!</p>
<p>“My turn,” Harry declared. “If you were on a desert island with no magic and all the food and water you needed, what three things would you want with you?”</p>
<p>“What kind of personal hell did you just throw me into? A boat so I can get out of there.”</p>
<p>“Oh come on, that’s cheating.”</p>
<p>“Fine. Island with no magic.” Draco gave it a thought. “You know, it’s occurring to me that I rely on magic a lot. I have no idea how I would survive in a muggle world. Are you an option? Can it be me and you on the island? That would be ok I guess.”</p>
<p>Harry smile and kissed the tip of Draco’s nose. “Sap.”</p>
<p>“What’s the worse date you’ve ever been on?” Draco took his turn to ask.</p>
<p>“Oh! Oh boy. This arse had tipped off the Daily Prophet to our date so we got to the restaurant and none other than Rita Skeeter was there with her Quick-Quotes Quill. Any conversation I tried to have was twisted and written down. And of course my date loved it and wouldn’t shut up.”</p>
<p>Draco scrunched his nose. “Yeah, that does sound pretty shitty.”</p>
<p>“Can you cook or bake?” Harry asked.</p>
<p>“Man, we are really going vanilla with these questions!”</p>
<p>“Fine! You want spicy, what’s your kink?”</p>
<p>Draco went a nice shade of red.</p>
<p>“I know we said all topics were on the table but if you’re not comfortable talking about that yet –“</p>
<p>“I like being told I’m a good boy,” Draco rushed out. Harry’s eyes went wide and a wicked grin settle on his face.</p>
<p>That derailed their little question game as Harry needed to find out exactly how good a boy Draco could be.</p>
<p>-_-_-_-_-</p>
<p>“I want to cook for you,” Draco declared as they had finally crawled out of bed, took a joint shower and made their way to the kitchen for some much needed food. He was wearing a pair of Gryffindor pj bottoms which he had made Harry swear on everyone’s life that he would never tell a soul about. Harry had refused to lend him a shirt to accompany the pants stating that abs like those were meant to be seen.</p>
<p>“You going to try to poison me Malfoy?” Harry joked.</p>
<p>“Ha. Ha.” Draco started rummaging around the pantry not really knowing what Harry had for him to work with. This may have not been the smartest plan since he wasn’t in his own kitchen. </p>
<p>Harry sat down at the table and idly played with the books that were still sitting there. “Too bad we can’t just use the Time-Turner to go into the future.”</p>
<p>“Well first they don’t go into the future,” Draco said as he pulled out some tomatoes from the fridge. “Second, the last Time-Turner known to the Ministry disappeared from the vaults years ago.”</p>
<p>“What? Really? Well it’s still there now.”</p>
<p>Draco grabbed some onions and garlic. “Maybe we were the ones that stole it! Found a way to make it move forward and sent me back,” he mused.</p>
<p>“Draco you’re a genius!”</p>
<p>Draco turned around and looked at Harry as if he had three heads. “Harry, witches and wizards way smarter than us have tried to make Time-Turners go forward for years and never succeeded.”</p>
<p>“Well mainly because they always get found and arrested by the authority. It is even more illegal to go into the future than it is to go back. Plus, they didn’t have Hermione.”</p>
<p>Draco lit the stove and heated up some oil. “I thought we weren’t bringing anyone else into this? How many people are we going to have to obliviate?”</p>
<p>“Well what if I don’t tell her what it’s for?”</p>
<p>“Would she honestly blindly help you break one of the strictest laws without knowing why? Even if she knew it was to help me, she probably wouldn’t do it.”</p>
<p>“I’m not saying it’ll be easy but I think that’s our best option right now. I know you think you found a lead with the 1800’s parchment mentioning something that seemed like what you went through but if there had been any actual information on how it happened it would be in the book…hell if there was a record of someone actually time travelling with no item it would be well known.”</p>
<p>Draco stayed quiet as he kept cooking. “I thought we were going to have a day without talking about this,” he eventually said.</p>
<p>Harry pushed the books away. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I just can’t help but worry how this will affect you once you return.”</p>
<p>“If we ever figure out how to even send me back. Might be stuck hiding in your flat for six years.”</p>
<p>Draco placed a plate of fresh tomato pasta in front of Harry.</p>
<p>“Wow Draco, this looks amazing!”</p>
<p>“Well, you were wondering if I could cook or not!”</p>
<p>“I have just the thing for this.” Harry got up and left the room only to reappear with a nice bottle of red wine. He poured themselves a nice glass and they cheersed glasses although the mood had now become a little somber. They ate in slightly comfortable silence, both now filled with worry. </p>
<p>“I think you’re right. We need Granger’s help,” Draco broke the silence before taking a sip of wine. </p>
<p>“I’ll take another day off and owl her in the morning. This is really delicious by the way.”</p>
<p>“Thanks.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning Hermione arrived shortly after the owl was sent.</p><p> </p><p>“Harry, you said this was important, life or death! What’s going on? Draco? What are you doing here?”</p><p> </p><p>Harry and Draco exchanged a look not knowing where to start. “Maybe we should sit down,” Harry proposed.</p><p> </p><p>They went into the den and took a seat.</p><p> </p><p>“Harry dies,” Draco blurted out. Didn’t matter how many times he had to say, it didn’t seem to ever get easier. Every time he said it the pain in his heart felt fresh again. Would the wound ever heal?</p><p> </p><p>“WHAT!” Hermione looked between the two of them waiting for further explanation.</p><p> </p><p>“DRACO! We’re supposed to ask her if it’s ok to obliviate her after we give her sensitive information! Not just dive right in and hope we get her permission after,” Harry scolded. Hermione looked from one man to the other trying not to let her panic take over.</p><p> </p><p>“’Mione,” Harry spoke softly. “Draco is from the future. We don’t know how he ended up here since he didn’t use a Time-Turner which is why we need your help. Because of the sensitive nature of time travel, we’ve decided it’s best to obliviate my memories from this encounter to protect Draco from returning to a different future. This is why we also feel that we should obliviate you, once you get all the information. We’re hoping you agree to help us.”</p><p> </p><p>“Harry, of course I’ll help. I’ll always help, especially if it’s a matter of life and death. And yes, I agree it’s best we erase our memories. Thank you for requesting my permission.”</p><p> </p><p>“So you’re willing to take part in something extremely illegal Granger?” Draco had his doubts.</p><p> </p><p>“Illegal? Oh come on, I thought our days of breaking the rules were behind us!”</p><p> </p><p>“I know but we have no idea how Draco time travelled and our only bet is to steal the Time-Turner from the Ministry.”</p><p> </p><p>Hermione gasped. “Harry! Draco! No!”</p><p> </p><p>“Hear us out,” and Harry explained the plan.</p><p> </p><p>They knew the item in question was held in the secure vault of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, specifically the controlled section. As an auror, Harry had access to the vault but to remove and illegal item he needed special permission. The permission had to be presented to the first keeper of the vault who granted access to the second keeper. The second keeper opened the vault door and walked you to the item requested where only her wands signature could release the item from the spell keeping it locked up safe and sound. All they had to do was forge a permission slip, confundus the second keeper to get her wand, remove the Time-Turner, get the hell out of there and back to Grimmauld Place.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s ALL you have to do! Harry do you know how much luck you’ll need to pull this off? Many wizards have tried to get by even the first keeper of the vault and that girl is good! Permission slips are filled with spells and magical signatures.  Won’t happen.” Hermione was not hopeful but the men were not deterred.</p><p> </p><p>“The first keeper, the one that looks at the permission slip, it’s Cho Chang.” Draco announced as if that solved everything. Seeing the deadpan look on Hermione’s face he continued. “With all the history she has with Harry, we’re banking on her being so flustered that she won’t really look at the slip and just let him in.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh boys, you really will need a lot of luck.” Something dawned on Hermione. “Wait! That’s it. Liquid luck! I mean…it’s still probably not going to work.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hermione, genius once again!” Harry smiled, ecstatic at her idea. “Ok, I’ll go get the items needed for the potion. Don’t take this the wrong way, either of you, but I think I’m the one who should make it. I have a few tricks up my sleeve when it comes to potions.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, yeah, potions prodigy we get it.” Malfoy rolled his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, wait. Getting the Time-Turner isn’t our only problem. Have you forgotten that it doesn’t actually for forward in time?” Hermione looked from one man to the other, giving them a disapproving look.</p><p> </p><p>“See, ‘Mione, that’s where you come in.” Harry flashed her his best smile. “Since you’re the smartest witch in the world, we’ve figured you’d be able to alter it to go forward.”</p><p> </p><p>Hermione shook her head. “Witches and wizards who spent years studying time travel couldn’t do it. You’re mad thinking I can!”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, but those witches and wizards left research which you can look into, piece it all together and then figure it out?”</p><p> </p><p>“I do like research,” she stated as a matter of fact.</p><p> </p><p>Draco sat silently listening to their exchange. He was reminded once again of how jealous he was of Harry’s relationships with people. He had such good, close friends. Friends who would do anything for him. Draco was certain that if he had been the one to ask Hermione to risk prison for him she would have said no. He decided then and there that if he found his way back to his time, he would try harder to open up with the friends he had, to build deeper relationships. Maybe not with Ron Weasley though…I mean he was a good guy, it’s just that he was annoying as f-</p><p> </p><p>“Draco? Are you listening?” Harry asked, pulling Draco from his thoughts. Draco looked back at him and smiled softly. “Hermione is going to head to the archives and do some research. I’m going to go get ingredients for liquid luck,” he told him.</p><p> </p><p>“And I’ll sit here and look pretty,” Draco said</p><p> </p><p>“Before we go off, can we talk about the fact that Harry dies? How do we fix that?” Hermione needed to know.</p><p> </p><p>Harry looked at Draco who appeared distraught. “We don’t.” He said to Hermione’s horror. “Everyone book we’ve read says that altering my death would drive Draco insane and I can’t be the cause of that.”</p><p> </p><p>“There must be something we can do,” Hermione pressed. “Draco?” Hermione looked at him. Draco couldn’t meet her eyes. This wasn’t fair. </p><p>“Hermione please don’t push it. This is hard enough as it is. Our main focus has to be to get Draco back intact.”</p><p> </p><p>-_-_-_-_-</p><p> </p><p>“Hermione is going to do her research at the library and come back later,” Harry said as he returned from the market. “Most of what she needs is in the restricted section so it’s easier for her to stay there.” Harry took out his cauldron from the cabinet and placed it on the kitchen table. “Oh, I got us this.” He took out a piece of parchment from his robes and handed it to Draco. </p><p>Draco unrolled it and nodded. Harry had brought back a blank permission form to remove confiscated artifacts from the vault. “This will make forging it way easier.”  </p><p>It took two days for Draco to be satisfied with his forgery. Harry finished the Liquid Luck on the first day and went in to work the second day in order to not raise any suspicions.</p><p>“You’re an absolute cock!” Harry stated when he got home from work.</p><p>“What happened?” Draco was rather confused.</p><p>“The current you is insufferable!” Harry threw his hands in the air.</p><p>“Well I’m sure you weren’t any better.”</p><p>“Me? I did nothing wrong! I was minding my own business prepping some tea when current you showed up and I didn’t know how to act cause all I could think of was kissing you so I got all clumsy and spilled my damn tea. You then felt like declaring that I really needed to learn to use my hands. You said I wasn’t able to do so in first year when I almost swallowed the snitch and clearly still hadn’t figured out how hands work to this day. Arse.”</p><p>Draco laughed. “You should have kissed me. That would have shut me up!”</p><p>“Yeah and altered the time line.” Harry sat down. “How’s the forgery going?”</p><p>“I think I’m done. I’ve also added a spell that will make it vanish once it’s placed with the rest of the slips to go to get checked and filed. Hermione sent an owl saying she thinks she’s on to something and will come over as soon as she can. In the mean time, do you think we’re ready to try our little heist?”</p><p>Harry nodded. “Tomorrow. I need a glass of wine after the last couple of days we’ve been through.”</p><p>“What are we having for dinner? Your pantry is running out of food,” Draco pointed out.</p><p>“I haven’t even thought of doing groceries since you’ve gotten here. Alright, I’ll go get us some take-away, you wait here.”</p><p>“I’m sorry I can’t go get it myself. It sounds like you’ve had a long day.” Draco did feel kind of useless being stuck inside all day.</p><p>“It’s ok. Just go pick out a bottle of wine and have it aerated by the time I get back. Thanks love!” </p><p> </p><p>-_-_-_-_-</p><p> </p><p>Harry breathed in deeply and exhaled before turning the door knob and facing Cho Chang. </p><p>Her office was a small room with two doors. The entry one, which Harry had just used, and a second one behind her desk that led to the second keeper.</p><p>“Hi Cho,” Harry spoke casually.</p><p>“Harry!” Cho on the other hand was instantly frazzled. “I haven’t seen you in ages, usually Ronald is the one that comes and collects anything you two need.”</p><p>“Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t think this would be a problem.”</p><p>“Not a problem! No. Not a problem at all. We’re both professionals.” She laughed awkwardly. “You have a permission parchment?”</p><p>“Yes, here you go.” Harry handed it to her. “Look Cho, about what happened back at Hogwarts, it’s in the past right?”</p><p>“Yes?” Cho didn’t look at the parchment and just placed it down on her desk.</p><p>“Of course, we’re adults now. No hard feelings?” Harry extended his arm to shake Cho’s hand. </p><p>Completely flustered (as planned) Cho got up to return the hand shake and in the process knocked over her cup of tea which spilled all over the permission slip. </p><p>“No! Oh I’m sorry Harry. Oh where’s my wand?” She moved things around her desk looking for her wand to clear up the spill, making a bigger mess in the process. Harry did not move to help her.</p><p>She eventually found her wand and cast a spell to clear the tea. She picked up the parchment and looked at it. “Oh bugger Harry, I made quite the mess. The tea and my spell messed up the magical signatures.” She looked up at Harry who looked very sad at this. Draco had worked so hard. “No bother, I’ll let you through, we can sort this out later.” She smiled and tapped the door with her wand and let him through.</p><p>The second keeper was a witch just a little younger than Harry. She had clear skin and jet black hair. She reminded Harry a bit of the muggle fairy tale Snow White. Without looking up from her desk, she extended her hand for the paper. Harry handed it to her and she looked at it quickly to see which object was requested. As the second keeper her job wasn’t to vet the papers, that’s what Cho was for. All the information she needed from it was the title of the item.</p><p>“Time-Turner,” she read and quizzically looked up. “Harry Potter!” She went beat red.</p><p>“Um, yes…hi. I don’t believe we’ve ever met.”</p><p>“No, no why would we, you’re bloody Harry Potter.” She was in clear awe of the man standing in front of her. “Right, Time-Turner. Right this way.” She grabbed her wand and turned towards the next door. She did the altered version of Alohomora that would open this specific door. When it did, Harry snuck up behind her and hit her with Confundus. He had the decency to feel a bit bad about it. </p><p>As she stood in place confused, he offered to take her wand and suggested she take a seat. She did so trying to organize her jumbled thoughts.</p><p>Harry entered the room. This was to be the tricky part – finding the item. He took a deep breath and walked straight ahead then took a left. Letting the Liquid Luck do its thing he found himself face to face with the only Time-Turner known to the Ministry. He cast the spell to undo the security spells and hoped that having the right wand would do the trick. </p><p>This was it. Moment of truth. He grabbed the Time-Turner. Nothing happened. He left the room and closed the door. He gave Snow White her wand back and lifted the Confundus course. </p><p>“Thanks for your help!” </p><p>“You’re welcome. Come back any time!” She smiled while blushing once again.</p><p>Harry retreated to Cho’s office where he quickly waved her goodbye, not wanting to press his luck and stay too long. </p><p>He casually strolled out of the ministry, politely saying hello to witches and wizards he passed. Once he was finally at the floo stations he went straight home.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>While Harry was on his mission at the Ministry, Hermione and Draco were sitting alone together at Grimmauld place.</p><p>“Might as well wait for him to come back before saying what you’ve found, that way you don’t have to repeat yourself,” Draco suggested.</p><p>“Agreed. Can I ask you something about the future? I mean…no harm in it since we’re obliviating me, right?”</p><p>Draco shrugged.</p><p>“Are you and Harry married in the future?” </p><p>“WHAT?” Draco’s eyes almost came out of his head.</p><p>“Well, it’s just that everyone knows you two are in love with each other so I was wondering if it finally happens.”</p><p>“What do you mean everyone?”</p><p>“Draco, come on. There’s just way too much banter between the two of you. It’s obvious it’s to cover up your feelings. It’s also obvious that there’s something happening between yourself and Harry from my time.”</p><p>Draco hid his face in his hands trying to cover up his blush. </p><p>“Is that a yes or a no?” Hermione was far too curious to drop the subject.</p><p>“We’re not married. There is something happening with me and past/present/whatever you want to call it Harry. We kind of admitted our feelings for each other but it doesn’t matter. He’s going to forget it all and nothing will ever happen.” Draco bit his lip focusing on the physical pain instead of the emotional one.</p><p>“I’m sorry Draco.” She did look sad herself. “Maybe we should erase your memory as well.”</p><p>“No!” Draco panicked. “No, don’t take this away from me, please!”</p><p>“I’m just worried. I’m sure Harry is as well.”</p><p>Draco stayed silent.</p><p>“What about us? Are we still friends?” She asked.</p><p>“Yes. Not as good as I would like though. Which is my fault. I’m always keeping people at arms length.”</p><p>Hermione nodded. “Well promise me Draco, when you get back, you’ll come to me and make sure we become good friends, ok?”</p><p>Draco smiled kindly. “Promise.” </p><p>-_-_-_-_-</p><p>Harry eventually came back by floo. He went straight to Draco and kissed him before pulling the Time-Turner from his robes. </p><p>“You did it!” Hermione exclaimed. “Now for the hard part.”</p><p>“Hard part!” Harry took a seat at the table with them. “That wasn’t exactly an easy thing to do ‘Mione.” Harry shook his head. </p><p>“I’m happy you haven’t been caught and arrested,” Draco reached out his hand to take Harry’s. Hermione knew now so there was no point in hiding it. </p><p>“Alright ‘Mione, please tell us you have some good news.”</p><p>“I’ve found a few spells that could alter the Time-Turner. I think if I combine some of them, I might be able to make it go far into the future. The problem is, we won’t be able to test it. Everyone who has tried it has gotten caught because the magical signature caused by the Time-Turner going forward alerts the Department of Improper Use of Magic and they come swooping in to make an arrest.”</p><p>“So if this doesn’t work, we’re back to square one,” Harry surmised gently squeezing Draco’s hand. </p><p>“Whether it works or not, once activated we need to disapparate from there as soon as possible. Working on the assumption that we’ll be successful,” she continued, “Draco should erase our memories right before turning it. He’ll then disappear into the future. Once he’s there he needs to ditch the Time-Turner and disapparate to a safe location. Because of the spell used to alter the Time-Turner, the Ministry will not be able to identify any signatures so they’ll have no leads on who used it.”</p><p>“This all depends on you being the brilliant witch I know you are,” Draco said, trying to remain optimistic. </p><p>“I’m really worried you two are putting too much faith in me.” Hermione was nervous about how this would go down but looking between the two men she knew she had to try. “There’s also the matter of Harry’s death.”</p><p>“We’ve already talked about this.” Harry gave her a look. “We need to just drop it, it can’t be done.”</p><p>“That’s the thing, I’ve done some research and unfortunately I agree with the two of you.” Hermione looked distraught which was nothing in comparison to how Draco squirmed in his chair. </p><p>“Come here,” Harry proposed, tugging on Draco who got up and sat in his lap, nuzzling his head in the crook of his neck for comfort. </p><p>Hermione smiled miserably. “I’m so sorry guys. This isn’t just about Draco’s sanity. Any alteration to change a humane death could cause the end of the world. It would be cheating death which comes with dire consequences. We all saw what happened to Voldermort when he did it.” Draco recoiled at the name. Hermione continued, “The only way would be to use the resurrection stone but the logistics of retrieving it and getting it to Harry before his death are so magnanimous that I truly think it’s impossible.”</p><p>“This makes it sound like you know where the stone is.” Draco quirked an eyebrow and Harry wrapped his hands around him. </p><p>Harry and Hermione exchanged a knowing look. Draco sat up. “Wait? What? You know where the stone is?”</p><p>“Yes, but I’ve secured it where it’s impossible to get.”</p><p>“Unless you’re Harry of course. He’s the guardian of the stone,” Hermione added. “So to get it we would need to get Harry to access it, which won’t be possible without breaking time travelling rules.”</p><p>Draco couldn’t get over this new information. “So you’re telling me that you have the invisibility cloak, the resurrection stone and at some point you had the elder wand?”</p><p>“Yes,” Harry admitted shyly. </p><p>“You’re the master of death?” Draco wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck. “That is so hot!” Draco pressed his forehead to Harry’s.</p><p>Harry blushed as Hermione cleared her throat pulling the boys’ attention back to the matter at hand.</p><p>“When would you like to try doing this?” She asked. </p><p>“I know that we’ve all worked really hard to get me back to my time. Is it ok if I have one more night here?” </p><p>Harry nodded, fully agreeing to have one more night with the blonde man. </p><p>“Of course,” Hermione supported this decision. She got up and advised them to contact her tomorrow, when they were ready. She said good bye and took her leave.</p><p>Draco, still sitting on Harry’s lap, went in for a kiss. It was gentle and soft and everything he didn’t want to lose. The emotion invading Draco was so strong it escaped through a tear. Harry softly brushed it off with his thumb and looked at the man’s striking grey eyes. “Talk to me,” he asked Draco.</p><p>“You died not knowing how much I loved you.” An unwanted sob escaped Draco’s lips. Harry tightened his grip on him. “I’m going to go back and you won’t be there.” Draco continued, “How am I suppose to keep going without you? Even if it’s version of you that drives me up the wall with all his annoying antics!”</p><p>“Maybe I just like seeing that sexy smirk you do when you’re up to no good,” Harry proposed, trying to lighten the mood.</p><p>Draco smiled but the grief in his eyes betrayed him. “You’re the love of my life,” he declared.</p><p>“Draco, I love you too.” </p><p>The two men embraced again, kissing the way one can only do when they know they have to say good bye. Draco got up and extended his hand to take Harry’s. Harry took it, getting up from his chair. He was led to his bedroom where the door was delicately closed behind them. Draco started the kiss up again while undressing Harry. He pushed the now naked wizard to lie on the bed while he undressed himself. The passion that ensued was bursting with a desire that could never be expressed again.</p><p> </p><p>-_-_-_-_-_-</p><p>The next morning, Draco woke up before Harry. Feeling like his heart was shattering, he got up without waking his lover and made his way to the shower. He sat on the tiled floor as the warm water washed over him, mixing itself with his tears. He bit his hand trying to hide his sobs. He didn’t want to wake Harry up. He didn’t want Harry to see exactly how heart broken he was. He had no regrets over anything that had transpired these past few days but the thought of it ending was a cataclysm of sorrow. </p><p> </p><p>“Draco?” Harry had woken up and entered the bathroom in search of Draco.</p><p>“I’m fine, go away,” Draco spat, still sitting on the shower floor.</p><p>Instead of going away, Harry joined Draco under the falling water. He sat behind him, a tight fit but they made it work. He wrapped his arms around and simply let Draco cry. Harry felt like he should be crying to. For the loss of his love and the loss of his own life. He was too much in a state of shock to let the emotions take over. It all felt surreal to him. He had missed a lot of work which meant that he never really had to face his Draco. It would be so easy to go up to him and tell him how he felt but after forgetting all this, he would go back to being sort of friends with the snarky prat and believing he would never be loved back by him. Harry held Draco tighter. </p><p> </p><p>-_-_-_-_-</p><p>They owled Hermione after breakfast thinking it would be a little slower than using the floo network, thus giving them more time alone. </p><p>She arrived in her robes as it was a bit chilly out that day. “I’ve found a good place for us to do this is. It’s an isolated meadow deep in a farmer’s field. If you’re ready, I can apparate us there.”</p><p>Draco looked down at his now less than crisp black outfit. He was going to burn it once he returned home. Hermione handed him the Time-Turner which he promptly placed around his neck. </p><p>“I just need a moment,” Draco stated as he went back upstairs alone.</p><p>He decided he didn’t care what the consequences were. He had to do something. If he ended up committed to an institution, so be it. If the world imploded, that would be fine by him. He’d rather live in a world with Harry, whether it was a good world or post-apocalyptic one, than a world without him. They say if someone loves you, they’ll move mountains to be with you. Well, Draco was about to move some fucking mountains.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Harry sat alone in his kitchen. Hermione had taken Draco to the isolated field she had chosen for him to time travel in. They had decided that it was best for them to loose their memories somewhere familiar instead of them finding themselves in a field and confused…less questions that way. </p><p>Harry thought of the last few days and what they had meant to him. He was about to lose something he had wanted for years and the worse part is he wouldn’t even remember it. At least he wouldn’t remember the part where he dies in the not so distant future. He wasn’t sure which one of those things scared him the most. He wished he could do something to let the Draco of his time know how strong his feelings for him were. The risks were just too high.</p><p>Draco and Hermione eventually returned and Harry got up to greet them. They stood there a little awkwardly. </p><p>“Draco,” Harry started but Draco stopped him.</p><p>“No last words, ok?” he pleaded. Harry nodded silently. If this was Draco’s last wish, he would grant him that.</p><p>“First you need to obliviate us,” Hermione laid down their plan. “Then you apparate to the field I showed you. Once that’s done, you go six years in time. It is very important that you leave the Time-Turner where you are and get as far away as possible, as fast as possible. If it doesn’t work, and yes I know we don’t want to talk about this possibility, but if it doesn’t work the same plan applies. You get out, go far and fast.”</p><p>Draco nodded. Hermione approached him, wand out and pointed at the Time-Turner. She inhaled deeply, “I do hope this works. Semper Prorsum Temps Annorum.” Aquamarine sparks came out of her wand and circled the Time-Turner before disappearing. “Well, that was it.” She lowered her wand.</p><p>Harry was tearing up as Draco came in for one last kiss. Without any further words, Draco obliviated him. He then turned to Hermione who also looked like she was trying to keep it together.</p><p>“See you later Hermione. Obliviate.”</p><p>Knowing he didn’t have time to dwell, Draco disapparated. </p><p>He appeared in a country field with cows munching on some grass. Draco looked up at the sky and took a moment to compose himself. H turned the item around his neck. The world started spinning.</p><p>-_-_-_-_-</p><p>When the world settled down again, Draco tried to catch his breath. He found himself chocking on air. Everything felt wrong. His skin was on fire. The worst was his head. It felt like it was about to shatter into a thousand pieces.</p><p>Draco remembered going on a joint case with the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. Someone was trafficking fantastic beasts and a murder was involved so the aurors were called in. Because of the magnitude of the case, both Draco’s and Harry’s teams were paired up. Draco remembered searching the house and hearing Weasley yell about a boggart. He remembered hearing Harry cast Riddikulus. He very clearly remembered entering the room as the giant arachnid bit into Harry’s neck and used its pincers to throw him across the room. He’ll never forget the sound it made when Harry’s bloody body hit the wall, crushing all of his bones. It just happened so fast but seemed like time had stopped.</p><p>What was causing the headache seemed to be the fact that he now had a conflicting memory regarding that day. Ron had cried out boggart but instead of casting Riddikulus, he heard Harry cast Stupefy. This time, Draco had rushed into the room to see the spider wobbling in place, frozen. They had continued their search of the house and even though there had been a few more nasty beasts and they had endured some cuts and bruises, everything had been secured by the end of the day and everyone went home alive.</p><p>Draco kept trying to breathe. He remembered Hermione’s warning about the Time-Turner attracting unwanted attention once used. He took it off of his neck and dropped it to the ground. Without a last glance to it he disapparated. </p><p>Once in the alleyway Draco threw up. He felt to the dirty pavement, hyperventilating and not caring about getting his usually pristine outfit dirty. Harry was alive. Right? Draco had a hard time distinguishing which memory was real. He needed to believe that it had worked. He tried standing and apparated to this flat just in time to fall to the ground again. Draco felt stunned. Did this mean he was going mad? Did he care as long as Harry was alive?</p><p>He went to his pantry and got some chocolate. Feeling better after the first bite he figured his best course of action was to go to Grimmauld place to see if Harry was there and living. He rushed towards the floo and caught a hold of himself in the mirror. His hair was a disaster and for some reason his lip was bleeding. Had he bit down on it at some point? He needed to clean up and change his clothes. Couldn’t do what he was about to do while dressed for a funeral. </p><p>-_-_-_-_-</p><p>Harry was sitting in his study sipping tea and reading the Daily Prophet. Their arrest of the fantastic beast trafficker had made the news and he was interested in seeing what facts they had gotten right and which they were sure to have completely made up. </p><p>His attention was taken away by a notification that Draco Malfoy was requesting permission to enter through floo. </p><p>“Permission granted.” Harry got up and made his way over to where Malfoy would be appearing. </p><p>“Malfoy,” he greeted, intrigued as to why he was getting this visit. </p><p>“Harry!” Draco burst in and rushed towards him causing Harry to back up against the wall out of instinct. Draco walked right up to him until their bodies touched and all of a sudden Harry found that Draco’s lips were on his. Harry froze. </p><p>It had never occurred to Draco that after six years, it would be possible that Harry had gotten over him and no longer wanted him. This thought, however, was now hitting him hard as he didn’t feel Harry respond to the kiss. He pulled away, horrified. </p><p>“I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry.” His eyes were wide wondering how Harry would react.</p><p>“Did you just kiss me?” Harry asked.</p><p>“I’m so sorry! I should have asked if it was ok or given you a warning.”</p><p>“Draco…not sure what is happening but I think you should know that I’m seeing someone.”</p><p>Oh. So many emotions filled Draco instantly. None of them good. Without saying another word he turned around, rushed to the floo and went back home.</p><p>Once home, he locked his floo to any incoming visitors and went straight to his bedroom where he faceplanted on his bed. He tried telling himself that it was ok. That, at least, Harry was still alive. He knew that at one time he was loved. That was enough right? It had to be enough. Draco crawled beneath the blankets and pulled the cover over his head, willing the world to go away. He refused to cry. Refused. The tears coming out were completely irrelevant. Really.</p><p>This is why he had avoided telling Harry how he felt for so long. This pain of rejection. Knowing you put yourself out there and were denied affection. Oh Merlin! He had kissed Harry Potter who had not kissed him back. How was he ever going to face him again? Oh and of course Harry would tell all his friends. How they would laugh at poor, pathetic Draco. He needed to quit his job. Maybe move to France or Italy. Or even Canada. </p><p>He didn’t know how much time had passed until he heard someone was knocking on his door. Correction – banging. Fear gripped him when he realized it was most likely Mr. Potter here to talk because that’s what the git would do. Oh Draco, it’s ok, don’t be ashamed bla, bla, bla. Draco really didn’t want to hear it. He got up with the intention of telling the man to go away and slamming the door on his stupid scarred face.</p><p>“You git, you locked your floo!”</p><p>“What do you care! Look, like I said I’m sorry I kissed you. I’m a coward Harry. Always have been. You know that’s a fact, you’ve witnessed me run away during the wars. I’m sorry, I had one foolish moment of bravery.  I won’t do it again. Forget it ever happened.” Draco went to close the door but Harry blocked him.</p><p>“No,” Harry breathed. “I don’t want to forget it. I want to do it again but this time I want to actually participate.”</p><p>Draco blinked as the realization of what Harry had said settled in. A gentle smile settled on his face as he approached Harry again, going in for a second kiss.</p><p>“Wait,” Harry backed off.</p><p>“For Salazar’s sake Potter make up your mind!”</p><p>“No, I mean…why is this happening? Did something happen? Are you under the influence of something? Cursed? I mean why else would you randomly appeared in my flat and kiss me like that?”</p><p>“I am not under any potions or curse or anything. I just…this is going to be a long story.” Draco was all of sudden very exhausted.</p><p>“So…you want to kiss me?”</p><p>“Yes, Harry. I want to kiss you. A lot. I like you. A lot. I’ve wasted too much time keeping my distance from you and if you think you feel the same way about me, I think we should kiss some more.”</p><p>Harry smiled. He had no idea what brought this on but didn’t feel much like arguing at the moment. One thing nagged at his mind though.</p><p>“I need to break up with Josh.”</p><p>“Josh?” Draco rolled his eyes dramatically. “What a boring name.” </p><p>“Draco, if we’re going to do this, I want to do it right.”</p><p>“Yeah I get it, you’re a man of honour. I’ll unlock my floo so you can go to his place if you’re up for doing it now?”</p><p>“He’s a muggle. I’ll have to apparate near his house. I’ll try not to take too much time. We haven’t been together for that long so I don’t see it being complicated.”</p><p>Draco let him inside so Harry could disapparate without being seen. Once the man had disappeared Draco took a seat on his couch. Ok. This was happening. This was good. What if he messed this up? No. No negative thoughts. He bounced his knee up and down until he couldn’t take sitting still anymore and got up to pace. </p><p>He didn’t really like his apartment. It was dark and drafty. The money he got from selling the manor accompanied by the Malfoy inheritance meant that he had way more money than he could handle. He could afford a better place. The thing is he never really felt like he deserved to be in a good place. His flat worked for him. Gave him a roof and a place to sleep. He never had anyone over so appearance didn’t matter. </p><p>What the hell was taking Harry so long! Maybe after seeing Josh he decided he actually didn’t want to be with Draco. This sucked! He had already gone through the motions of declaring his feelings for the man once before why did he have to do it again! </p><p>“I shouldn’t be complaining,” he said to the empty room. Harry was alive. That’s always been what mattered the most. The fact that he had to go through having a first kiss again was nothing compared to the idea of never seeing Harry again. Harry wanted to kiss him. Harry was breaking up with someone for him. Harry, the Harry of his current time, was into him! Draco grinned feeling elated. </p><p>There was a knock at the door.</p><p>“You’re back!” Draco greeted Harry and motioned for him to come in. “How did it go?”</p><p>“It went…well…yeah at least it’s over now.”</p><p>It was Harry’s turn to initiate the kiss, making a small moan escape from Draco’s lips. The snogging session was moved to the living room where Harry ended up on top of Draco on the sofa. He eventually came up for air, sitting up and straddling Malfoy. </p><p>“Ok. I’m really, really not complaining. Merlin knows I’ve been pining after you for way too long-”</p><p>“Since sixth year,” Draco provided.</p><p>“What? How do you know that!”</p><p>“Not important right now.” Draco went back in for another kiss but Harry stopped him by gently placing his hands on this chest.</p><p>“Like I was saying, I’m not complaining,” Harry continued. Draco whined and laid back down. “It’s just that we’re adults now Draco…getting old and all. I want to make it clear that I’m not just interested in you for a good snog…or shag. I want a relationship with you. Something serious. I still am very confused as to why you rushed into my flat and attacked my lips with yours all of a sudden but I want to do this right.”</p><p>Draco sighed, exasperated. “Stop being so mature! But fine yeah I’m am all down for that. Relationship, marriage, kids!”</p><p>Harry laughed. “Ok, slow it down there! Can I know what has brought this on?”</p><p>Draco shifted causing Harry to get off him. They sat side by side as Draco tried to decide what he should say. “You have to promise not to have me committed.”</p><p>Harry raised an eyebrow. “Ok?”</p><p>“You died.”</p><p>“I…what?”</p><p>“You died and I somehow traveled back in time to six years ago and saved your life.” It all rushed out.</p><p>Harry took a moment to make sure he understood what had just been said. “I died.”</p><p>“Yeah. The giant arachnid. The first time you thought it was a boggart and things went horribly wrong.”</p><p>Realization dawned on Harry. “The note! That was you! OH! Wow. A few years ago, me and Hermione found ourselves at my place really confused. We just thought someone had played a prank and used the confundus charm on us. I got home and found a note by my bed.”</p><p>“August 1st 2007. It’s not a boggart,” Draco said, remembering what he had wrote.</p><p>“For years I wondered what it meant until the day in question came along. That was you? You saved my life!”</p><p>“Yeah. I wasn’t sure it would work.”</p><p>“Draco…how can I ever thank you?”</p><p>Draco shrugged. “You saved my life in the Room of Requirements during the war so I guess that makes us even.”</p><p>“I feel like I still owe you.”</p><p>“Ok, well, date me? Marry me? Adopt kids with me? We can call the first one Albus as long as we call the second one Scorpius.”</p><p>Harry laughed. “Wait, how do you know I want to name my son Albus?”</p><p>“I know a lot of things about you…” Draco really didn’t know how much he was allowed to divulge. “When I went back in time…we…hung out. Things…um…happened…we talked a lot.”</p><p>“I don’t remember any of this,” Harry frowned.</p><p>“We decided the best course of action was to obliviate you in order to make sure you wouldn’t go mad with the knowledge of your death.”</p><p>Harry nodded in silence. “So you…so we…how far did it go?”</p><p>Draco blushed worried that Harry might be feeling a bit violated. “I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. Maybe I should have stopped anything from happening back then. It wasn’t fair on you.”</p><p>“Draco,” Harry shifted to look at him. “I can’t imagine it being fair on you either. You had to go through all that knowing you would return to an uncertain future. I’m not upset…well I’m not mad. I would like my memories back and thankfully we do live in a magical world! I’ll call Hermione. After the war she returned her parents memories to them. She’ll be able to help.” Harry smiled. “In the mean time…want to go for a pint?”</p><p>“Are you asking me out on a date, Potter?”</p><p>Harry rolled his eyes. “I don’t know why you’re making fun of me when you’ve already been through this.”</p><p>“Actually, we never went on a date. I couldn’t leave the flat.”</p><p>“Oh…honestly I like that. This means we can experience it for the first time together.” He got up for the sofa and extended his hand to Draco who took it and got up as well. </p><p>“Leaky Cauldron? Or somewhere muggle?” Harry asked.</p><p>Knowing exactly why Harry was giving him that option, worried that their outing might make the papers if they were caught in any type of embrace, Draco conceding to going to a muggle pub. </p><p>-_-_-_-_-_-</p><p>The got a corner booth and Draco went up to the bar to get a couple of beers. When he got back, he placed them on the table and settled himself across from Harry.</p><p>“So you just got out of a relationship,” Draco mused.</p><p>Harry snorted. “Yup.”</p><p>“I have to be honest…I don’t really do the dating thing a lot…don’t get me wrong I have hook ups, I’m no saint! But relationships, I haven’t really been lucky in that field. I’ve only been in two that could be considered sort of long term.” Draco wasn’t sure why he was admitting this. </p><p>“Yeah, mine never really last too long. I get a lot of people wanting to date me for the glory of being with the great Harry Potter. That’s why I’ve started dating muggles exclusively.”</p><p>“At least the people that are dating you for the fame aren’t mentally messed up. Try dating people who want to be with you because you’re an ex-death eater.”</p><p>“Oh…that’s messed up. You were never really a death eater you know.”</p><p>Draco waved it off, not wanting to have that particular conversation again right now. “Sorry, probably bad form to be talking about exes on a first date.” Draco took a solemn sip of his beer.</p><p>“If you want to tell me,” Harry said, “then I want to hear it.”</p><p>“There’s nothing much to tell. One relationship lasted 7 months and the next one was about a year. They both ended because the guys were way too into…well…” Draco gestured towards his arm that bared the dark mark under his shirt.</p><p>“That is pretty twisted.”</p><p>Draco shrugged. “It’s fine. At least no one brought me on a date that involved Rita Skeeter”</p><p>“Wait, how do you know about that?”</p><p>“You told me when I went to the past.”</p><p>“Oh right. Yeah, I would like my memories back if that’s ok.”</p><p>“Of course it is! I want us to be on equal grounds.”</p><p>Their date went on until the sun went down. </p><p>“We better call it a night,” Harry finally suggested. “We have work tomorrow.” Draco nodded in agreement.</p><p>“Do you want to have lunch together?” the blonde asked.</p><p>“Always.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>My apologies to anyone named Josh.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>TRIGGER WARNING - Intentional emotional harm, panic attack</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Draco fought to keep his composure the next morning when, at work, he and his partner were called to the boss’s office. He entered the room to see the Time-Turner he had used was sitting on Robard’s desk. Oh shit!</p>
<p>“New assigned for you two,” their boss instructed them. “This turned up yesterday. Seems to be the one that went missing from the vaults years ago, but it’s not working anymore.”</p>
<p>Draco’s partner picked it up, looking it over.</p>
<p>“You two are going to look into what happened to it. I want to know where it went, who took it, where they went and why it’s not working anymore,” Robards ordered.</p>
<p>“Wh-what do we know so far?” Draco was really worried he was about to get caught.</p>
<p>“Nothing. Showed up in a muggle farmer’s field. Signature on it is all cocked up, the Illegal Use of Magic division can’t figure out a thing.”</p>
<p>This knowledge relieved Draco. “What are we suppose to do with it then? Isn’t there some low-level detective you could throw on this? Waste that person’s time instead of ours.” </p>
<p>“The Time-Turner was an auror acquisition from a case years ago. The fact that it went missing was always an embarrassment for us. We will be the ones handling the case. Do I make myself clear?” Robards didn’t seem to be in a good mood.</p>
<p>Draco nodded. This was probably for the best. This way he could make sure there really was nothing found and he wouldn’t have to worry about it. </p>
<p>-_-_-_-</p>
<p>For the rest of the week, Harry and Draco spent all their free time together. This caused them to get a lot of quizzical looks at work but everyone seemed too polite to ask what was going on. </p>
<p>They had chosen to keep all conversations to general, light topics. Draco didn’t want to get into serious subjects he might already know about until Harry’s memories were back. They had also stopped themselves from going any further than snogging…which was frankly driving but of them insane. </p>
<p>Very early Saturday morning, Draco used the floo to get to Harry’s. He had been refusing staying over even though Harry assured him it was only to cuddle. Draco just didn’t have the emotional strength right now to go through the whole mutilated mark conversation. </p>
<p>Harry greeted him with a kiss. Draco asked for tea which he was denied saying they had no time to waste! </p>
<p>Harry placed a floo call to Ron and Hermione’s. The first person he saw was Ron who greeted him joyfully.</p>
<p>“Hey Ron, is Hermione around?”</p>
<p>“What? Not good enough for you, am I?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah. That joke sure doesn’t get old!”</p>
<p>Hermione, having heard her name, entered the room.</p>
<p>“Oh good morning Harry. Bit early isn’t it?”</p>
<p>“Sorry about that. This is important, I need to speak to you…actually might as well be both of you. Save me some time.”</p>
<p>“Is this about Draco?” Hermione asked. Harry’s mouth fell open. How could she know?</p>
<p>“How do you know?” he finally managed to ask.</p>
<p>“Ron has been telling me about the way you two have been acting at work. We’ve placed bets on it.”</p>
<p>Harry wasn’t sure how to take this news. He just shook his head. “It’s not that simple. Can we come over?”</p>
<p>“We???” Ron asked curiously.</p>
<p>“Yes, of course,” Hermione took a step back waiting for the men to go through.</p>
<p>Draco and Harry arrived and were ushered to the living room. </p>
<p>“Any way we could get some tea?” Draco politely asked.</p>
<p>“I told you we don’t have time for tea!” Harry scolded.</p>
<p>“Blimey Harry, this must be important. There’s always time for tea!” Ron left the room to go get the precious liquid.</p>
<p>Harry and Draco sat down together on the navy loveseat. Hermione took place in a cozy purple armchair. Ron came holding tea pot with four tea cups floating behind him. With some tea and once everyone settled Draco and Harry gave each other a look before Draco started telling his story. </p>
<p>Everyone stayed quiet for a bit until Ron snorted.</p>
<p>“The hell was that Weasley,” Draco ask.</p>
<p>“Sorry! I just realized how happy mum will be to know you two have finally hooked up. Now you won’t be able to say no to Sunday dinners.” Ron laughed. Hermione, who felt the seriousness of the situation gave Ron a pointed look but the red-haired man kept going. “Malfoy come on! Imagine your face if we could tell 11 year old you that you’d grow up to be surrounded by Weasleys!” Draco chuckled at that. “Are you guys going to get a ferret as a pet?” Ron asked. This seemed to have crossed a line as Hermione kicked him in the shin to shut him up. “Ronald that’s enough!” </p>
<p>“I’m sorry! I’m really happy for you two. Draco, we have become friends over the years so you will have to allow me a certain number of jokes about this.”</p>
<p>Draco hid his head in his hands while Harry looked all too amused.</p>
<p>“Are you done?” Hermione asked. Ron, who seemed to now notice the scalding look she had on her face nodded to say yes. Hermione returned her attention to Draco and Harry. “How long did you say it’s been since we were obliviated?” she asked, getting down to the important matter at hand.</p>
<p>“Six years,” Draco provided. “Harry tells me you returned your parents’ memories after the war without having to use torture so we were hoping you would be able to do the same for yourselves.” He looked hopeful but that changed when he saw Hermione slouch her shoulders. </p>
<p>“The spell I used on my parents did work but they hadn’t been living with the curse for six years. I’m not sure how much that length of time will affect it. There could be unknown risks.”</p>
<p>“Hermione, you figured out how to make a Time-Turner go forward. I believe you can do this,” Draco encouraged.</p>
<p>Hermione smiled a little sadly. “As much as I would like my memories back to know exactly how you persuaded me to break the law and help you with that, you need to understand how dangerous it is. Returning erased memories can be very painful. Death eaters used torture during the wars to do it.”</p>
<p>Draco remembered how much it hurt to gain new memories once he was back so he could sympathise. “I’m not interested in having either of you tortured,” he told Harry and Hermione.</p>
<p>“Damn right you’re not!” Ron felt the need to add.</p>
<p>“If we don’t do this, you’ll have gone through conversations I don’t remember. You’ll probably have to have those conversations all over again,” Harry said as he took Draco’s hand in his own. “We’ll have different memories on what our first kiss was. There might be moments where you think I know something about you but I don’t remember it. And I don’t know what it is that you know about me. I don’t want you to get bored hearing the same stories.”   </p>
<p>“That doesn’t matter. We’ll get through it. I just want to be able to be with you and if that means repeating some conversations, I can definitely live with it,” Draco squeezed Harry’s hand. Harry did not look convinced. </p>
<p>“I have a theory that emotional torture could work instead of physical torture, but I don’t want to put you threw that. You would have to deal with past trauma and deep fears or insecurities.” Hermione bit her lip, she did not like this idea.</p>
<p>“But it could work?” Harry inquired, strangely hopeful.</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“No, absolutely not doing that.” Draco wasn’t having any of it.</p>
<p>“I think this has to be my choice and I’m ok going through it, but I don’t know what we would use to bring up emotional turmoil.”</p>
<p>“Well it’s not like you haven’t gone through trauma,” Hermione pointed out.</p>
<p>“I know but I’ve dealt with it and grown. I’ve accepted the death of my parents and made peace with it. They’ll always be with me even if their gone. I’ve realized I am not like Voldermort even though I ended up with part of his soul.” Ron and Draco made a face at the use of the name.</p>
<p>“Of course, the great saviour will have advanced emotional wisdom.” Draco rolled his eyes.</p>
<p>“Oh shut it Malfoy,” Harry responded without any bite to his words. Draco smiled.</p>
<p>“So you’re completely happy with who you are and you’re past?” Hermione seemed impressed.</p>
<p>“Yes and now I have Draco so I know I can be loved .”</p>
<p>“We’ll always love you, you know that,” Hermione added.</p>
<p>“I meant romantic love. Actually…there is one thing…it’s pretty personal.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry but if you want to do this we will have to get personal,” Hermione crossed her arms. She didn’t like where this was going.</p>
<p>“I can leave the room if you want to keep it between you and Hermione,” Draco wasn’t sure where his place was in all this. Harry seemed to be agreeing to get emotionally tortured for the benefit of their relationship and he wasn’t sure he liked it.</p>
<p>“No, I don’t want to have any secrets between us. Ok, so, I have a fear of dying alone.”</p>
<p>“Oh Harry!” Hermione gave him a hug. “It depends how deep the fear is but we could try. You have to understand that this has to go to a deeply disturbing point, we are talking psychological torture Harry.”</p>
<p>Harry nodded. He understood but felt the need to go through this. </p>
<p>“I suggest we use Veritaserum during the…interview…that way you’re forced to face the truth regarding how deep this fear goes.” Hermione always coming up with a plan.</p>
<p>Harry nodded once more. </p>
<p>“We could also…” Hermione hesitated. “Oh, I don’t like this at all Harry!”</p>
<p>“I know ‘Mione. It’s ok. What’s your idea?”</p>
<p>“Well we could use Van Gogh’s elixir. It heightens emotions but is very dangerous. Too much of it can drive you mad.” Why was she even suggesting this?</p>
<p>“That’s a good idea. We need to make sure this works and with the potion and the elixir, we’re sure to push the limits of my emotions.”</p>
<p>“Do you want me there? Or just Hermione?” Draco asked.</p>
<p>“You can be there if you want.”</p>
<p>Draco took into consideration the fact that, if he was there, he would have to see the man he love break down and fully emotionally exposed. He knew this would hurt him as well but he couldn’t let Harry go through it alone. </p>
<p>“I would like to be there but I can’t be the one to…torture you.”</p>
<p>Hermione understood. Even though she didn’t want to put her best friend through this it was ultimately his choice and if she could help him regain memories he desperately wanted back, she would help him.</p>
<p>“New problem,” she pointed out, “it takes a full lunar cycle to brew Veritaserum and I’m not advanced enough to do such a complex potion. We all know I’m shite in that field.”</p>
<p>“We can get it on the black market,” Draco suggested and then timidly added that he had contacts. “Might take me a couple of days but it’ll be better then waiting a month for it.”</p>
<p>“Alright let’s do that. Let us know when you have it and we’ll set this up.”</p>
<p>-_-_-_-_-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next couple of days went by way too quickly for Harry’s liking. This was evidently going to suck but he had made up his mind. He didn’t know what conversations or experiences he and Draco had already been through and he could tell the other man got sad whenever something would come up that they had either clearly already covered or gone experienced. He also felt like Draco was holding back, almost like he was scared to relive certain things again and he didn’t want to push him. Harry needed to do this so once the potion was acquired, they set up a time for Hermione to come over. </p>
<p>They decided it was best to do this at Grimmauld place. That way Harry would be in a comfortable setting. Ron had chosen not to participate.</p>
<p>They settled in the den, rearranging the chairs so Harry and Hermione would be facing each other while Draco would be sitting behind Harry, out of his line of site but still in arms reach if needed.</p>
<p>“Alright I’m going to ask you one more time are you sure about this.” Hermione needed to know.</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“Open your mouth and I’ll administer the Veritaserum.” Harry obliged and Hermione let a couple of drops fall onto his tongue. She handed the vile back to Draco. She took out another from her pocket and gave Harry one small drop of it. She sat down. She took a deep breath and started</p>
<p>“Hi Harry, how are you feeling?”</p>
<p>“Nervous.”</p>
<p>“Is it true that you’re afraid of dying alone?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“Why is that? You know you’ll always have me and Ron?”</p>
<p>“No, that’s not true. You guys have started a family and as your children grow you’ll become busier and more involved in their lives. You’ll have to focus on them and I’ll take a back seat. Don’t worry I’m not mad at you for it, that’s just life but it’ll leave me alone.” Saying it out loud, to someone else, made it all too real for Harry.</p>
<p>This broke Hermione’s heart, but she continued. “You have other friends.”</p>
<p>“They’re not as close as you, me and Ron are. I can’t expect them to come visit me in an old folks home. I’ll be there alone with no one to talk to.” Harry started having trouble breathing. “I was alone growing up. Yes, I was with the Dursley’s but they never cared for me, they’ll definitely not be around when I’m older. My life really started when I went to Hogwarts but what if, when that ended, everything started going downhill until I’m alone again.” His eyes were wide with tears that threatened to fall.</p>
<p>“What about the Weasley’s? Don’t you think they’ve become family?” Hermione hated having to go through with this but she didn’t feel Harry had gone far enough.</p>
<p>“It’ll be the same as with you and Ron. Everyone will grow into having their own life.” Harry felt that this was a fact. </p>
<p>“They still manage to get together on Sundays for dinner. Isn’t that a good sign?”</p>
<p>Tears were now actively rolling down Harry’s cheeks.</p>
<p>“Molly and Arthur will pass eventually, and everyone will go on their own way.”</p>
<p>“Harry, you can’t actually believe that!”</p>
<p>At that moment Harry believed it so strongly. He was going to be alone. His fears would come true. He tried to catch his breath not finding enough air to fill his lungs. Hermione regretfully pushed on.</p>
<p>“What about Draco? You have him now.”</p>
<p>“He might leave.”</p>
<p>Behind him, Draco took in a sharp breath.</p>
<p>“Why do you think he’s going to leave you?”</p>
<p>“I’m worried are relationship will change if we’re romantically involved.”</p>
<p>“Do you not want to be with him?”</p>
<p>“Of course, I want to be with him. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for years but this might change things between us. What if we stop our banter and he gets bored with me? What if he only liked me because of our back and forth and without them the excitement dies?” Harry clutched his head in his hands and started rocking himself. Draco was going to leave him. He knew it. He could feel it deep in his bones.</p>
<p>“Is that how you think you’ll feel about him?”</p>
<p>“No. My love for him goes deeper than that.”</p>
<p>“Can’t you trust that his love for you is the same?”</p>
<p>Harry closed his eyes and shut them tight. This was too much. Draco made a move to go comfort him, but Hermione put her hand up stopping him. </p>
<p>“Harry I need you to listen to me. I need you to think about what you were doing 6 years ago. Can you do that for me? Harry didn’t respond. You had a case that was dealing with black outs and one day we found ourselves in your kitchen confused and thought Ron played a joke on us but didn’t want to give him the satisfaction so we never told him. Do you remember that?”</p>
<p>Harry nodded.</p>
<p>“Harry I need you to concentrate on that time, ok?”</p>
<p>Harry couldn’t breath and was fully hyperventilating but he tried his best. Hermione pointed her wand at him. “Memorus” A wispy white light went from the end of her wand and wrapped itself around Harry’s head. Harry’s eyes shot open as memories painfully returned. He fell to the ground and entered the foetal position. The memories were back but the agony from facing his greatest fear was still too real to handle. He openly cried.</p>
<p>Draco got up and rushed to him, this time not stopped by Hermione. He pulled Harry into an embrace and caressed his hair. He positioned them so Harry’s back was lying on his chest. </p>
<p>“Harry I need to you to pay attention to my breathing.”</p>
<p>Harry didn’t respond.</p>
<p>“Harry, listen to my voice. Please Harry. I’m here. I’m not going to leave you.”</p>
<p>Harry grabbed on to Draco’s arm which was wrapped around him</p>
<p>“Harry pay attention to my breathing. Breath with me. In. Out. Slowly.”</p>
<p>Hermione watched silently, hating her part in what had just happened. </p>
<p>Harry’s breathing went back to normal gradually. Draco didn’t press him, taking his time reminding him to take deep breaths in and out. Once his breathing was semi-steady, Harry twisted around to nuzzle his head in the crook of Draco’s neck.</p>
<p>“Harry, you need to know I love you and I never want to leave you. Whenever you’re ready I plan on marrying you and growing old with you. I want to have kids with you and go through life experiencing everything with you.”</p>
<p>Harry leaned back to look into Draco’s eyes. He saw kindness and concern. He saw tenderness and love. He pressed his forehead to Draco’s. Hermione felt like she was intruding on an important moment, so she quietly got up to leave.</p>
<p>“Hermione,” Harry spoke softly stopping her. He got up. “Thank you.”</p>
<p>Hermione nodded, a little exhausted from having put her best friend through a panic attack. “Did it work?” she asked.</p>
<p>Draco got up as well, intrigued in the answer. He had been so wrapped up in comforting Harry that he had forgotten what they were doing. </p>
<p>Harry nodded and gently smiled. “It did. I remember everything.”</p>
<p>“Was it worth it?” Draco asked.</p>
<p>“Anything that involves you is worth it.” Draco rolled his eyes at how sappy that was but was happy for the levity it brought to the moment.</p>
<p>“I’m going to leave you two alone together. I’m sure you have a lot to talk about.”</p>
<p>“’Mione, are you ok?” Harry asked. He knew it must not have been easy for her.</p>
<p>“Not really,” she answered honestly. “But I have Ron to comfort me.” With that she took her leave.</p>
<p>Harry turned to Draco, fully ready to embrace the man he loved and needing to feel him physically close to him.</p>
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